"De-activity" vs Reactivity

 

"De-activity" vs  Reactivity

Reactivity is an immediate response to a stressor or conflict with intense emotional reactions (usually anger) rather than regulating your emotion. "De-activity", a term coined by psychotherapist Ed Geraty LCSW-C, is a mindfulness process which, with practice, helps an individual to both decrease the immediate adrenaline rush (fight response) and bring thought into the experience. The individual then becomes a responder rather than a reactor; being able to respond to a conflict in ways that are helpful and thoughtful.

Intense reactors usually learn this behavior when they have grown up in a family where one or more parents expressed immediate intense reactions. The child learns by example.

The De-activity process is simple but NOT EASY.  It's not easy because the brain, over many years or repetitive experience, has become wired to be reactive. The good news is the concept of neuroplasticity; the ability of the brain to rewire itself with consistent practice.

Here's how the process works:

1. As soon as you feel an intense emotion (usually anger) you stop and take 5 or 6 deep breaths (this immediately begins to reduce the increase of adrenaline flowing through your body).

2. Ask yourself  "What emotion am I feeling?"  NAME it to yourself.

3. Ask yourself "What do I need to do about this emotion?"  (This brings rational thought into the experience).

4. Then follow through.. it may be doing nothing, it may be letting the person know you're feeling angry, it may be taking a break, etc.  This way you become a responder to your emotion rather than a reactor.