Unpacking Toxic Masculinity

Ed Geraty LCSW-C

INSITEIntegrative.com 

Unpacking Toxic Masculinity: Deconstructing Harmful Gender Norms for a Healthier Society

Toxic masculinity, a pervasive societal phenomenon, continues to shape the way men perceive themselves and interact with the world. Stemming from deeply ingrained gender norms and stereotypes, toxic masculinity promotes harmful behaviors and attitudes, affecting not only men but also the broader society. In this comprehensive 1500-word article, we will delve into the origins and manifestations of toxic masculinity, explore its impact on mental health, relationships, and society, and discuss strategies for addressing and dismantling this toxic construct to foster a healthier, more inclusive society.

The Genesis of Toxic Masculinity

The concept of masculinity has evolved over centuries, influenced by cultural, historical, and social factors. Traditional gender roles dictated that men should exhibit dominance, emotional stoicism, and physical strength, while rejecting qualities deemed "feminine." Such expectations, though deeply flawed, became deeply entrenched in societal norms, perpetuating the notion of toxic masculinity.

The Manifestations of Toxic Masculinity

Toxic masculinity manifests in various ways, often leading to detrimental consequences:

a. Emotional Repression: Men are often discouraged from expressing vulnerability, sadness, or fear, leading to emotional suppression. This can result in heightened emotional isolation, difficulties in forming meaningful connections, and hindered emotional growth.

b. Aggression and Violence: Toxic masculinity promotes aggression and violence as means of asserting dominance. Such attitudes contribute to increased rates of physical and emotional abuse, both within personal relationships and in society at large.

c. Disparaging Homophobia: Homophobic attitudes are a common manifestation of toxic masculinity. The fear of being perceived as less "manly" for expressing affection or appreciation for others can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and hinder authentic connections.

d. Unhealthy Body Image: Toxic masculinity promotes unrealistic expectations of physical appearance, pressuring men to conform to a particular ideal. This can lead to body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and a constant sense of inadequacy.

3. Impact on Mental Health

The repercussions of toxic masculinity on men's mental health are significant and far-reaching:

a. Depression and Anxiety: Men conditioned to suppress emotions may struggle to cope with feelings of sadness or anxiety, often leading to untreated mental health issues.

b. Substance Abuse: Escaping the emotional burden placed upon them, some men turn to substance abuse as a coping mechanism, further exacerbating mental health problems.

c. Suicide Rates: Toxic masculinity's emphasis on emotional detachment and silence may contribute to higher suicide rates among men, who may be less likely to seek help or express their struggles openly.

4. Relationships and Communication

Toxic masculinity poses a significant challenge to forming and maintaining healthy relationships:

a. Intimacy and Emotional Connection: The inability to express emotions freely can hinder the development of intimacy and emotional bonds in relationships.

b. Communication Difficulties: Toxic masculinity may lead to poor communication skills, as men may feel uncomfortable expressing their needs, feelings, or concerns openly.

c. Fatherhood and Parenting: Fathers influenced by toxic masculinity may struggle to exhibit nurturing qualities, leading to difficulties in developing strong parent-child relationships.

5. Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for Addressing Toxic Masculinity

Dismantling toxic masculinity requires collective effort and a multi-faceted approach:

a. Education and Awareness: Initiating conversations in schools, workplaces, and communities about toxic masculinity is vital to raising awareness and challenging harmful norms.

b. Promoting Emotional Intelligence: Encouraging emotional expression and intelligence can help men embrace their emotions and communicate more effectively.

c. Challenging Stereotypes: Promoting positive and diverse representations of masculinity in media can challenge traditional stereotypes, showcasing the strength in vulnerability and empathy.

d. Supporting Positive Role Models: Celebrating men who defy toxic masculinity and display healthy behaviors can inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of change.

e. Redefining Masculinity: Emphasizing that masculinity can encompass a wide range of positive traits, such as compassion, empathy, and vulnerability, can help redefine societal norms.

Conclusion

Toxic masculinity is a complex societal construct that continues to shape the lives of men and the society they inhabit. By understanding its origins and manifestations, acknowledging its impact on mental health and relationships, and implementing strategies for change, we can move towards creating a more inclusive and compassionate society that celebrates and supports a healthier definition of masculinity. Breaking the cycle of toxic masculinity is a collective responsibility that requires continuous efforts to foster positive change for the benefit of all genders.

12 words which aren't really emotions

 Here's a list of 12 words which are very general and don't really help you to change your emotional state.

The following are NOT really emotions:

1. overwhelmed
2.upset
3. frustrated
4. annoyed
5. anxious
6. depressed
7.worried
8. "I'm" down
9. unmotivated
10. unnerved
11."I'm" blah
12. impatient
13.?

 During the 1970s, psychologist Paul Eckman identified six basic emotions that he suggested were universally experienced in all human cultures.

The emotions he identified were
1. happiness,
2. sadness,
3. disgust ( an emotional and physical reaction)
4. fear,
5. surprise ( an emotional and physical reaction)
6. anger.

As you can see the most problematic ones are sadness, fear, and anger
                                                                           

 Most of the words listed at the top are combinations of the basic emotions or are a single emotion (example: frustration is just a "nice" word for anger, overwhelmed may mean fearful, sad, and/or angry). If you can identify the actual emotion, you can decide how you want to handle it. 

The Language of Lies: How Hate Speech Engages Our Neural Wiring to Foster Division

 

The Language of Lies: How Hate Speech Engages Our Neural Wiring to Foster Division

Summary: Researchers analyze the language of dictators and hate groups, uncovering a common use of dehumanizing metaphors to fuel hatred. Such metaphors ‘switch on’ neural pathways in the brain, bypassing higher cognitive reasoning centers and steering focus towards certain ideas.

These mental patterns can become entrenched over time, making it challenging for individuals to revise their views even in the face of contradicting evidence.

The research underscores the potential dangers posed by such language, including the escalation of violence and political instability.

Dehumanizing metaphors used in the speech of dictators and hate groups instill and propagate hatred by exploiting neural circuits in the brain.

Over time, these neural circuits harden, making it nearly impossible to reverse these ingrained ideas and resist conspiracy theories or big lies.

Research suggests that those who strongly believe in such narratives are unlikely to change their minds, even when confronted with evidence contradicting their beliefs.

In Politics, Lies and Conspiracy Theories, released today, Marcel Danesi Ph.D., a professor of semiotics and linguistic anthropology at the University of Toronto, Canada, analyzes the speeches of dictators including Mussolini, Stalin, Putin and Hitler, as well as prominent hate groups.

His research finds there is one thing they all have in common: they all use dehumanizing metaphors to instill and propagate hatred of others.

“The intent of such speech is to attack those who do not belong to the mainstream, such as racial minorities, or people of different sexual orientations,” says Danesi.

Powerful language

For example words like ‘pests’, ‘reptiles’ and ‘parasites’ were used by the Nazi regime to compare outsiders and minorities to animals.

Meanwhile in August 2017, when groups of white supremacists arrived in the college town of Charlottesville to participate in a ‘Unite the Right’ rally, the protesters used both animal and dirt metaphors when they claimed that they were fighting against the ‘parasitic class of anti-white vermin’ and the ‘anti-white, anti-American filth.’

With the rise of populist and far-right political movements in the 2010s, the use of dehumanizing metaphors to engender hatred of foreigners or of those who are different in some way has spread worldwide.

In 2016, during a state-orchestrated public campaign against refugees and migrants in Hungary, the prime minister, Viktor Orbán, characterized them as a poison.

Our brain wiring

 

Danesi’s research shows that dehumanizing metaphors like these are so powerful because they tap into and ‘switch on’ existing circuits in the brain that link together important and salient images and ideas. In effect, metaphors bypass higher cognitive reasoning centers, directing our thoughts to focus on certain things whilst ignoring others.

According to Danesi, the more these circuits are activated the more hardwired they become, until it becomes almost impossible to turn them off. The same is true of conspiracy theories – research shows that people who believe them develop more rigid neural pathways, meaning they find it difficult to rethink situations.

“When we come across a big lie or a conspiracy theory, it can shape our ideas without us even being aware of it,” says Danesi.

“By being exposed to particular metaphors, we may develop hostile feelings towards specific groups – this is why hate groups use metaphors to turn the switches on, so as to motivate people to violent activism.”

Entrenched ideas

Unfortunately, research into this brain wiring also shows that once people begin to believe lies, they are unlikely to change their minds even when confronted with evidence that contradicts their beliefs.

On the contrary, these people will instead seek out information that confirms their beliefs, avoid anything that is in conflict with them, or even turn the contrasting information on its head, so as to make it fit their beliefs.

For this reason, it is unlikely that people with strong convictions will ever change their minds about anything.

According to Danesi, this can have devastating consequences.

“When lies are used to generate hate, harmful behaviors tend to result, including violence and genocide against the target individual or groups,” says Danesi.

“The spread of lies is also becoming a powerful factor in generating political and social instability worldwide, destabilizing democracies.”

What can be done?

Is there anything we can do to protect ourselves from the power of lies? According to Danesi, the best thing we can do is to understand the metaphors of the other party, and to examine one’s own metaphors.

However, history and science tells us that it is unlikely to work – research shows that once a lie is accepted as believable, the brain becomes more susceptible to subsequent lying.

Author: Becky Parker-Ellis

Source: Taylor and Francis Group

"De-activity" vs Reactivity

 

"De-activity" vs  Reactivity

Reactivity is an immediate response to a stressor or conflict with intense emotional reactions (usually anger) rather than regulating your emotion. "De-activity", a term coined by psychotherapist Ed Geraty LCSW-C, is a mindfulness process which, with practice, helps an individual to both decrease the immediate adrenaline rush (fight response) and bring thought into the experience. The individual then becomes a responder rather than a reactor; being able to respond to a conflict in ways that are helpful and thoughtful.

Intense reactors usually learn this behavior when they have grown up in a family where one or more parents expressed immediate intense reactions. The child learns by example.

The De-activity process is simple but NOT EASY.  It's not easy because the brain, over many years or repetitive experience, has become wired to be reactive. The good news is the concept of neuroplasticity; the ability of the brain to rewire itself with consistent practice.

Here's how the process works:

1. As soon as you feel an intense emotion (usually anger) you stop and take 5 or 6 deep breaths (this immediately begins to reduce the increase of adrenaline flowing through your body).

2. Ask yourself  "What emotion am I feeling?"  NAME it to yourself.

3. Ask yourself "What do I need to do about this emotion?"  (This brings rational thought into the experience).

4. Then follow through.. it may be doing nothing, it may be letting the person know you're feeling angry, it may be taking a break, etc.  This way you become a responder to your emotion rather than a reactor.